D12 Stupid Reasons To Join The Chaos Cult

Chaos cultists are a funny bunch. They wear strange robes. They hang out in dank terrible places and summon nameless horrors from beyond time and space. Why would someone want to do that? Is the health insurance in the Chaos business good? Do they pay well? 


Have a d12 table of stupid reasons why the chaos cultist joined the cult.

  1. Stygian Lotus. The best.
  2. The cultists are fighting against The Man and The Man is a dick.
  3. Orgies.
  4. Physical deformity that makes him a pariah in polite society.
  5. He’s crazy to begin with and fits right in.
  6. Magical mutation(s) that freak out normal people.
  7. Degenerate gambler hiding out from creditors and got sucked in.
  8. The only group of people who will accept him because he’s a jerk.
  9. There’s this really cute girl/boy in the cult that he/she wants to impress.
  10. Their only chance to be someone big and important.
  11. Burn it. Burn it all.
  12. Wait? What? I’m in a cult?